I usually don't drag this kind of topics onto my dA but after all I care for this a lot - so why the hell not?
When I'm not doing artsy stuff or working for university or engage my nerdy hobbies I am reading a lot of blogs and sites about feminism, race problems, LGBT and whatnot. I try my best to educate myself so that I'm (hopefully) not talking all too much bullshit in related discussions.
How is this relevant?You might have heard about the outcry regarding dA's "gender" option recently. When dA v7 was introduced this year, the ability to choose "Unspecified" as a gender option was taken away and even after some fuss the staff refused to reintroduce it again.
A few days ago the issue came up again. It kind of started with this dreamwidth post
[link] where
transfinite was exposing the tactless comments of the dA staff. It has been passed around and apparently dA has gotten lots of angry mails and
is finally doing something about it. Hooray! Or is it?As of now it seems not everyone is happy with the suggestions - can't please everyone I guess? But at least dA staff seems to learn that
yes, sex and gender are different things and
no, you shouldn't tell people to gtfo just because they don't fit into your binary gender world view. I personally don't feel that I'm in the position to suggest what options they should offer to make everyone feel welcomed but if you are one of those people that would need a third option I'm sure dA will appreciate your feedback. At least +
spyed seems to be quite willing to learn more.
Anyway, what is really getting on my nerves however are the many many people who are brushing things off like
"Why is this an issue? Who cares about this shit anyway? yadda yadda yadda". I realize that there a two causes for this: 1st) lack of education/knowledge, 2nd) acting like a privileged dick.
For #1 I'd recommend reading the linked journal by `
mooncalfe above and
Genital Essentialism and Trans Erasure by ~
dmarling. This should give you an idea of what this is about.
For #2 Check your privilege!
"Check my what?"It might be a big of a complicated concept at first but once you wrapped your mind around it it makes a lot of sense. Privileges are the little benefits you have when you belong to a majority or other group that is regarded as
The Norm™.
Privileges intersect, means you can have some and lack others. For example: I am white, female, lower class and straight. I have privileges that work in my favour and I am lacking others. Being white in a country that is mostly white works in my favour cause no one will judge me negatively based on my skin colour. Being female is a disadvantage cause our society still favours men. Being poor lower class is a disadvantage cause I lack financial resources. Being straight is working in my favour cause no one will make weird assumptions when I kiss my boyfriend in public. The list could go on and on.
So what does this mean? This means that when someone who is part of a minority/otherwise non-privileged group is pointing out the injustice that is happening to them AND you are having a knee-jerk reaction like
"WHO CARES? GO PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS ON AND CHILL!!111" this is your privilege speaking. This might not be an issue for you because your privilege was protecting you from ever needing to think about it - but obviously it is a big damn issue for the person you are talking to!
Of course the natural reaction to this is becoming even more defensive. Because after all you are a good person and you'd never be homo-/trans-/whatever-phobic and
"IT WASN'T MY INTENTION!! OMG UR SO MEAN!!!"However what you are doing here is quite the contrary. I'd like to illustrate this with an example:
Imagine you're stepping onto someone's foot. It's an accident. Happens all the time. No big deal.
The right thing to do now is to take a step back and apologize. However, what people who behave like privileged assholes are doing is trying to explain how
they didn't mean it and that
it's all not so bad and
will ya just shut up already?! and
why the fuck are you so angry? and so on - while they are still standing on that person's foot!
So in this situation checking your privilege makes you realize that you are standing on someone's foot and that you should take a step back. If you really didn't mean it then act accordingly!
In the end, what it all comes down to is Wheaton's Law:
Don't be a dick!
Pants are an illusion... and so is death!
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You have a way of wording things so they seem so simple. It comes from a place of deeper understanding than many people on the internet have. I'm both grateful and sorry that you have that experience...
I wish that one day we will live in a world (real and virtual) where people will take a realistic inventory of how their comments and actions affect others before commenting and acting. And should they metaphorically step on someone's foot, take a moment to realize that it occurred, adjust their inventory of how they affect other people, and act accordingly. Of course, this requires that the people whose foot was metaphorically stepped on also take an inventory of how their reaction will affect the person who blundered...
But alas, we do not live in such a world. And we must act in such a way as to educate others to a greater understanding... Something it looks like you have done well. Congrats, mein freundin, and good luck in future endeavors of the same.
I hear people saying ever so often "Oh the world is an ugly place and you just have to live with it!" as an excuse for their own misbehaviour. They do not realize that they themselves are contributing to this and making life harder for everyone. I mean, sure there'll be always idiots out there who want to ruin it for others but I feel it will become harder for them when we establish a community where this behaviour isn't tolerated.
In other words: "All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing" - let us not be the good men that do nothing. :3
It's amazing, isn't it? It's hard because to point it out only seems to enrage them, but to let it ride only reinforces the behavior. Of course, I live in a country where idiots get the chance to ruin it for everyone else on a daily/hourly basis. In the US, people who do something stupid almost always initiate some form of legal action that narrows the range of acceptable behavior for everyone else.
I didn't even realise that gender option, I have barely been here in the last months. It seems poor Tom Scribble is still "unknown" though
I think people who choose the "other" option before the change stayed "unkown" - which made the whole "we won't change it back, pick either m or f or gtfo!" attitude pretty stupid. Anyway, now everyone who wishes to can choose "other" again - all's well that ends well!